Fun times

Occasionally, I have to answer the phones at my place of work. You would really be surprised by some of the responses I get. Although I am going to use a fictitious name (so that I don't get sued later), my official greeting and the responses that follow goes something like this:

"Mike W. Smith Contracting, can I help you?"
"Yes".... *long pause*
"How can I help you?"
"Oh, well I need...."

"Mike W. Smith Contracting, can I help you?"
"Is Mr. Smith there?"
"Umm, Mr. Smith sold the company years ago. In fact, I'm not quite sure if Mr. Smith is still living."

"Mike W. Smith Contracting, can I help you?"
"Someone just called me from this number."
"Sir, do you know who called you?"
"No."
"Do you know which project its concerning?"
"No."
"Sir, I'm not sure how to direct your call, then."

"Mike W. Smith Contracting, can I help you?"
"Yes, are you guys bidding on you know that store being built somewhere in Greensboro."
"Do you know what the name of the project is, or the contact person?"
"Umm, no."
"I'm sorry. I won't be able to direct your call without more information."
"So, you don't know if your company is doing that job."
"No, sir, I do not."

"Mike W. Smith Contracting, can I help you?"
"Is Tim there? Sir, we have eight Tim's total in our company. Can you give me a last name?"
"Um, I did not write that down."
"Do you know which project its regarding? Maybe I can direct your call based on which office is handling the project."
"I don't remember the name of the project. Someone else referred me and told me to ask for Tim."
I wait, thinking maybe the obvious will sink in.
"I will ask the person who referred me for more information and call you back."
"That sounds like a great idea."

"Mike W. Smith Contracting, can I help you?"
"Who is this?"
"You are speaking with Cory?"
"Well, you don't sound like the person I normally talk to."
"I'm not, she is on lunch. Can I help you with something?"
"Oh yeah, I need to talk to...."

"Mike W. Smith Contracting, can I help you?"
"Is so-in-so in?"
"I'm sorry, he is out of the office. Would you like his voicemail?"
"Well, maybe you can help me with this."
"Okay."
"Can you tell me what the measurements are for the tiling on the Target project?"
"Sir, I just handle the administrative side of projects."
"Well, I just need to know how many really."
"I'm sorry, sir, I do not even know how to read construction drawings. I'm sure he'll call you back if you leave him a message."
"Well, okay, I guess."

I just love working with the public. Its the funnest part of my job!